I gotta show you a quick impression of what I used to do for a living before I became a stand-up comedian. Y'all got some fucked up seats, man. Gonna make this shit really difficult. All right, man, why won't you do here? Bowling ball. Bowling ball, knife, apple. What I want you to do is toss me the apple. No. You throw it at my dick and shit, man.
DEON COLE COLE HEARTED. Netflix Is A Joke. My man #DeonCole #standup #comedy @comedian_deoncole. Search - deon cole stand up. Fellas, you ever see an ass so nice on a woman, you end up meeting a cool-ass brother? A woman walk by you with a nice ass, you be like, "Ooh, look at that motherfucker there!" And then you look up, and you see a guy catchin
One time I took Diego to a dog park, I let him off the leash. I'm watching him play. On the other side of the dog park, a Dalmatian sees me. I don't know if you guys know this, but apparently Dalmatians and dwarves have been feuding for years. Now, we've all been in a situation before where a dog got a little loose. What does the owner normally do?
Friends ruin everything, man. They're not your friends, dude. Call your friend right now. Call one who... You have a best friend? Yeah. Call your best friend right now and be like, 'Oh my god, Ronnie hit me!' Let's see what she says. Actually?! Yeah, do it. Yeah. Everyone shut the f- up. Come here. You gotta act, you gotta act like you're *fake cry
Can you make fun of her? Your mom is here with her group, and you want me to make fun of your mom? You lost your mind? You know tonight after the show you have to go home with your mom, right? You want to sleep on the street? Which one is your mom? The blonde? That's your mom? Mom, I'm going to make fun of you. You give me your phone number right n
Part 2. F*ck you. Everybody be standing up there like this, be cool Jack, just looking in the eye. Then some big d*ck motherf*cker come in right, stand way back here. What's happening fellas? You wanna stand to the left? I'm gonna shake it to the left, pal. You gotta move over. @funnieststandup
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